A crooked arrow flys straight as long as it finds its own path...

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Sweat that Shit Out...


What it be Chickadees?

Lately I've been having some health problems. Which is scary. Especially when you don't know why. I've been having these funky stomach aches for about the past month.

Which kind of sucks. A lot. 

I also have an unhealthy, irrational fear of doctors. Big time.
I finally went to a doctor and after doing a lot of tests they still don't know what's wrong with me. 

The doctor thinks that it is probably stress, but he has to test for other stuff in the meantime. 

Which, stress? Really? That's kind of the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

I have been pretty stressed lately. I work in retail, and it's the holiday, so the craziness is on. I do stock and pricing as well as assist my manager as I'm the lead on my team. 

I also have had to deal with losing the long time manager of my departments I take care of. I was promoted from my dept. to my position now, so I have worked with this manager for almost 3 1/2 yrs now. 

Gaining two new managers, one of which I knew and worked with, and who had worked under me wasn't the worst thing. 
Until I had the rug pulled out from under me again.

The new manager got promoted, so now I have two brand new managers of my depts, both who know nothing about the areas. Which couldn't have come at a worst time, retail wise.

My husband thinks that my stomach aches are just from me not eating at work. Most of the time I don't eat at all, or not much. I recently lost about 21 lbs, so I do have different eating habits now..... 
I no longer do this 24/7...

I literally spend all day at work now doing 50 things at once, and going at supersonic speed. I have a lot of people that depend on me for help, and a huge workload these days. 

Pretty much every day now I have this huge knot in the pit of my stomach, from worrying about how to get everything done.
I realize that I am overworked, really overworked. I could ask for help, but every time I do, it seems to backfire.

 It's not that I don't appreciate the help, but most times I have to go back through and either re-do, fix, or double check. 

So I would just rather work harder, and faster. Which I realize is sort of crazy. :D
But when my rate of pay is directly affected by my work completion percentages, of course I want to do it myself. 

I am a perfectionist when it comes to my work. It's one of the few things I do well, and can take genuine pride in.
But anyways, all through the summer, when work was pretty dead, I would come home and work out. Yoga, Jillian Michaels workouts(I know, don't judge!), and walks with my pups and husband. 

Things are crazy at work, and I also am on a new work schedule, where basically I'm getting up in the middle of the night. When I get out of work I have to sleep, and try to fit in laundry and cleaning too. And see my husband for about 2 hrs a day, seeing as he works late and I work early.
So my workouts have fallen by the wayside. But I have been doing a lot more heavy lifting, more so than usual. My job does have a lot of heavy lifting involved, but a crazy amount in the holiday season. So I am getting a workout, just a different kind.

So it's possible that it could be stress, but I feel like that's kind of lame, to be honest. 

Who get's stomach aches from being stressed out? I feel like should be stronger than that. I am stronger than that.

I did get back to my regular workouts, but it just wasn't doing it for some reason. The usual feeling of calm and relaxation wasn't there anymore.
So I took up running again after four years. My knee problems forced me to stop, but they have been better lately. 

It does seem to be working, even though it's only been a couple of days. Even though I am the most awkward runner ever, and the thought of people seeing me run makes me hyperventilate.  

I think I just need something more strenuous to keep me calm?

I don't know. I'm sorry, but I have survived starvation, beatings, and emotional and mental abuse. Stressed-induced stomach aches? That's kind of LAME....


  1. Reading your preceding post, I'm not at all surprised you're having stomach issues. I know it's crazy to think that stress would have so much of an impact, especially being that you've survived so much pain - but, maybe it's because of what you went through that it's presenting itself this way. What I'm saying is that all that stuff doesn't just go away, it finds a place to nest within you and at any sign of stress it attaches itself and makes itself known. You're vulnerable b/c you're tired - perfect recipe. Just keep on running and keep on writing it out here. That's the best way to let it out in a healthy way. And focus a little more on your eating habits, it's important. xoxo

  2. thanks greg, it's been rough hopefully there's an end in sight...

  3. I'm sorry, health problems suck. I'm under a lot of stress lately and it's also making me sick ):
    I hope you feel better and things work themselves out!

  4. Hi, Alice. I followed you over here through CCL. Great blog you have here. Greg is right all the way around. You should take time out to eat small meals every few hours, even if it is just a handful of raw almonds. Apples are also good at neutralizing the acids that can be stirred up from stress and make a great snack, especially with a little bit of peanut butter. If you don't eat, you stomach literally gnaws at itself and that can be painful. You are a perfect example of a driven personality that used to be known as Type A. That profile makes a great employee, but they are also prone to burn out. Listen to your body, as much as it goes against your grain to cut back, make sure you listen. If you don't, in a few years you could be flat on your back with complete adrenal exhaustion. People die from that shit.

  5. hi rexie! i have come to realize that even though i am a driven employee, and type a :p, that it will burn me out if i don't slow down and relax. my job does take advantage of me, i have come to realize that. i am learning to say no when they ask for unreasonable things, and it's good for them to know that i am not at their beck and call. it's gotten to the point to where i can feel my body shutting down on me when i push myself too hard. which is sad seeing as i'm only 23, but i've been doing retail for 5 years now. i always go balls out, and it's landed me in the hospital before so you'd think i'd know by now.. :p