A crooked arrow flys straight as long as it finds its own path...

Monday, May 14, 2012

Open Relationship vs.Cheating?

Hiya Chicks!
I know, it's been awhile. I missed you! Life's been crazy!

Effing Dykes posted a great article a few weeks ago about open relationships. Check it out here

It's funny because the husband and I have started to talk about having an open relationship a little bit. Nothing really concrete yet. Just considering the possibility.

He hasn't really come right out and said that he's open to doing this. We've danced vaguely around the issue a bit.

I think I'm afraid he'll say no. We  both have to be willing to start this. If one person isn't 100% with the situation, then the whole thing will just explode in our faces. If he's not ok with it, that's kinda that. 

Which sucks.

Is that skeevey? I know's it's most guys fantasy to see two girls get it on. But I don't know how ok I am with being watched. 

Actually I am not ok with someone watching me have sex. Even my husband. Sex is a very personal thing for me.

I guess I'm a little wary because it seems like open relationships never work. Someone always ends up getting hurt in the long run.

Unless both people are willing to take the time and consideration needed to find a way that works for them. It doesn't sound like it's just an easy, go sleep with anyone you want way. Even though most people think that.

I think having an open relationship is only possible if you have a completely trusting, healthy relationship.If the two people involved can trust each other person 100%.

Do we trust each other completely? I'm not sure. We've hurt and been hurt by each other, and have issues still. This could end up being the straw that breaks the camel's back. I don't want that. 

The jealousy factor alone probably kills a lot of relationships. The fact is, there will probably be jealously on both parts as both people adjust to this new element.

So why bother at all you ask? Because I love my husband and want to keep my marriage together. I recognize the fact that I have a side to me that needs sexual contact with a girl as much as if not more than, a man.

I don't want to just hold it all in and stuff it down till I explode and end up cheating. I don't want to cheat. At all. But I don't want to suppress this side of me either, until I go crazy. That's not good for my marriage either.

Then you get into the whole cheating factor. Is it cheating if both parties know about it, and are ok with it? Even though you're married?
On the other hand, who says I can't have an open marriage? Society? Fuck that! Why do I need to have my marriage defined by anyone else? 

I don't.

As for being a lesbian, that's a whole other can of worms. Yes, I am afraid that finally sleeping with a woman could make me realize I'm gay.

Maybe that's why I'm trying to have a go at the whole open relationship thing. So I can figure some things out before more time passes.

Or because I just want to finally know and this is my way of pushing myself towards that...

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