A crooked arrow flys straight as long as it finds its own path...

Friday, April 27, 2012

Imagine Me and You...

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Hiya Chicks!


Have you ever watched a movie or read a book that touches you? In a way that just reaches in and strips everything away.


Something so personal, so private that you feel like you should be locked in a dark room. That way no one can see just how much you are affected. 


How confusing it is when something as simple as a movie can strip you bare.


Welcome to Imagine Me and You,ladies.


Watching this movie hurt. It hurt for me to see the pain that Rachel and her husband and Luce all went through.


None of them wanted to hurt the other. It really highlights how despite choosing a path, life just happens. There's nothing you can do about it either.
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In a way, it was like I watching my own life.
All the confusion, and not wanting to hurt the person you've committed to.


When someone loves you,and makes their entire life about loving and taking care of you, how do you destroy that?


I met my husband, and fell in love. We loved each other so much that we wanted to take the next step, get married. 


I don't know if it was getting married and finally feeling safe enough to explore myself? Or meeting a girl that just made all those feelings explode out from where I had hidden them?


All he wants is to love me and take care of me and be my partner in life and love forever. 
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How can you say no to that? How can you crush someone's whole world?


When someone gives you their everything, and all they want is to love you,and be loved in return, how can you not? 


I love him.


But I have a side to me that will never be completely fulfilled by a man. Lately I've even been wondering if I am even happy with a man..


There's this part of me that craves a woman's touch. I don't think that will ever go away. 


I do still enjoy sex with my husband though. If i'm being completely honest, not all the time. I have times when I can't stand it, and just want it to be over. But other times I can't get enough of him.


Some days it seems like all I have are questions, and no answers...
~ALICE

2 comments:

  1. Hey Alice,
    I know exactly how you feel.
    I've been going through the exact same situation myself... although, I haven't seen the movie! Now I HAVE to!!
    I realized I liked women about a year ago, and I've been trying to figure myself and my marriage out since then.
    I think you articulated it perfectly though, how do you destroy your marriage, destroy your husband when all they want is to take care of you?
    Heartbreaking.
    I believe we'll get through it though. We'll find answers. *hugs*

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  2. yes, one way or another we will get through it... answers? idk if they will be coming anytime soon, but i hope so.

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